Dovetailing Wounds

Recurring issues in our relationships are almost always the result of dovetailing wounds from childhood. We mistakenly think others are the cause of our feelings, when in fact, they’re just activating old wounds. For instance, as children, Jane felt unheard by her parents and Dick felt unfairly blamed. Whenever Jane expresses a dissatisfaction, Dick feels blamed and becomes defensive, making it difficult for him to respond compassionately. Jane interprets his defensiveness as a lack of concern for her feelings. If, instead of projecting blame, we realize it’s just our old buttons being pushed, we can turn within, feel our feelings…

And heal them.