Narcissism Versus Self-Love

Sep 25 2016

People sometimes confuse self-love with selfishness. They’re on the same continuum, but exist at opposite ends. Narcissism is characterized by an inflated sense of one’s own importance, extreme selfishness and a craving for admiration. It’s actually the result of not loving oneself enough. When we love ourselves, our worth comes from within and our focus is on relating rather than getting attention. We can tell where we are on the continuum by noticing how comfortable we are when we’re not the center of attention. We can heal by feeling the discomfort and consciously allowing ourselves to…

Just be. 

Jarl and Steve

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What Is, Is

Sep 24 2016

The thought that something shouldn’t have happened is like thinking there shouldn’t be clouds in the sky. Each moment shows up the only way it can given everything that precedes it. The vision you deem superior isn’t possible at this point in evolution. Realizing this brings peace. Not because everything is perfect, but because you are no longer resisting. Acknowledge unwanted circumstances, then accept them for what they are: clouds just passing by. When you don’t waste your time and energy resisting, complaining and blaming, your mind has the enhanced clarity to conceive of…

Optimal solutions.

Jarl and Steve

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Opinions Vary

Sep 23 2016

Just like vineyards in different climates produce dramatically different wine, people from varied circumstances hold wildly varying perspectives. This variety arguably makes the world a more rich and interesting place. Of course there will be differences of opinion that are uncomfortable and occasionally even violent, but that only happens when we are so unaware that we delude ourselves into believing that our way of seeing the world is the only right way. A world comprised of people with exactly the same opinions would be dreadfully boring.When it comes to differences of opinion, don’t fret…

Celebrate them.

Jarl and Steve

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If You Don’t Like the Station…

Sep 22 2016

We may not be in charge of every detail of our life, but we are in charge of how we emotionally handle whatever shows up. Regardless of our external circumstances, we decide how to respond. Simply trying to change what’s out there won’t change how we feel. The wiser approach is to ask ourselves why we feel the way we do. Since our playlist of thoughts create the soundtrack of our lives, changing what’s playing in our heads radically alters the way we see everything out there. If you don’t like the music…

Change the Station.

Jarl and Steve

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It’s Magical Fairy Dust

Sep 21 2016

Unless we’re practiced in the art of self-awareness, we often assume that we’re neutral observers, simply experiencing what is with total objectivity and reacting in the only way possible. Actually, we interpret every situation according to our unique conditioning, and that’s what determines, not only the nature of our experience but, how we feel about it. The attitude we bring to each moment can make the difference between adding something that will tremendously satisfy us or make us sick. A good attitude that’s heavily sprinkled with gratitude works on our lives like..

Magical fairy dust.

Jarl and Steve

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Your Life, Your Movie

Sep 20 2016

Your life is a movie that you write, direct and star in. You launch yourself into experiences that move the plot along and allow the hero to evolve and grow. You determine who, what, where, when and why the action happens. When you’re aware of this power, you understand that you can modify the direction of your story, fade out unsavory characters and end dramas that aren’t in alignment with your desired outcome. The best part of the process of consciously creating your own academy award winning masterpiece is that YOU…

Are the academy.

Jarl and Steve

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Guaranteed Well Being

Sep 19 2016

You don’t need a crystal ball to know how happy you’ll be in the future. While you might not be able to foresee what’s actually coming, it’s pretty easy to predict how you’ll feel about it. Your dominate mood in this moment carries over into the next and the next. If you have a habit of perceiving life from a dissatisfied point of view, it’s likely to continue to be that way until you consciously decide to change it. The way to do that is very simple: commit to looking for how everything…

Is for you.

Jarl and Steve.

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Awaken Your Intuition

Sep 18 2016

Along with thinking, feeling and processing sensations, intuition is one of your mind’s key functions. When these four are balanced, life flows optimally. Unlike linear intelligence, intuition reveals itself through flashes of insight, gut feelings, instincts and clear visions. Spending a little time each day sitting quietly and noticing your breath can dramatically enhance your intuition and improve your ability to understand and trust it. The more you’re tuned in to your intuition, the more expanded your awareness is. An awakened intuition can actually make the difference between an ordinary life and one that feels…

Magical.

Jarl and Steve

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Believe in Yourself First

Sep 17 2016

We all modify our behavior to accommodate whoever we’re dealing with. But if we’re insecure and unsure of ourselves, others hear that message loud and clear and respond accordingly. Alternatively, if we treat ourselves with love, respect and dignity, others will too. When we believe in ourselves, the world follows our lead. If we want to experience more love, appreciation and respect from the outside, the course of action to take is clear: Learn how to give love to ourselves first and then radiate it out…

To everyone.

Jarl and Steve

 

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Problems and Concerns

Sep 16 2016

Problems are a part of everyday life. Depending on the severity of the problem and the way you think about it, your mind may take you on a wild and scary roller coaster ride propelled by catastrophic thinking. When you find yourself getting pummeled in a maelstrom of negative rumination, remember that you don’t have to weather that storm. There’s a simple and powerful technique that can bring you back into harmony and help solve the problem. Adjust your relationship to the issue by cleansing it with this mantra until it’s healed…

“Thank you, I love you.”

Jarl and Steve

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Don’t Get Sidetracked

Sep 15 2016

Everyday we hear messages telling us how to be happy. They sell us on the notion that taking action on the outside is the best way to improve how we feel on the inside. It’s true that our environment, possessions and activities can have a temporary impact on our well-being, but we could spend our whole life chasing those things without experiencing true satisfaction. The best way to change how we feel is to pay attention to our thoughts and actively look for things to appreciate. Then, no matter what shows up…

We’re already happy…

Jarl and Steve      

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The Ultimate Acceptance

Sep 14 2016

At the most basic level, each of us is in pursuit our own well-being. When we garner acceptance or praise, we feel like we’ve earned the right to feel good. The irony is that we can allow ourselves to feel good any time we want. The gateway to well-being is self-love. We don’t need to withhold appreciation for ourselves until certain conditions are met. Since we’re far more effective at everything when we love and accept ourselves, it makes sense to appreciate ourselves exactly as we are…

Right now.

Jarl and Steve

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Healthy Relationships

Sep 13 2016

Every relationship experiences occasional periods of disharmony. As each person grows, adjustments are inevitably required to allow the relationship to evolve and transform. Even the healthiest relationships experience friction. The stress of growing pains can be lessened by remembering that occasional discord is normal. In fact, if conflict is resisted so much that it’s completely avoided, growth can get stunted and natural change will become especially stressful. Establishing a mutual commitment to finding a resolution and agreeing to move through these times with kindness makes the difference between these times dragging along painfully or…

Flowing smoothly.

Jarl and Steve.

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When You’re Mad…

Sep 12 2016

When you’re angry your whole being is affected negatively. While you may not have control over your initial reaction, you can minimize the damage that prolonged anger causes. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings without judgment. There’s no need to beat yourself up over getting angry and there’s no need to hold on to it. Feel the sensations in your body fully and then let go. When the angry thoughts resurface, pause and focus on your breath. With every exhalation say silently to yourself…

I love you.

Jarl and Steve.

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There’s No Problem

Sep 11 2016

Our thoughts keep us busy regretting or reminiscing about the past and dreaming about or fearing the future. This causes us to miss a whole lot of what’s real because we’re lost in our heads. Real life only happens right now. The past is done and we can’t really know what the future holds because we don’t have all the necessary information. Though our minds may try to convince us otherwise, the present moment actually contains everything we need. If we don’t have it now, we obviously don’t need it. In the NOW…

There is no problem.

Jarl and Steve

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Spirit to Spirit

Sep 10 2016

When you’re in the middle of a misunderstanding with a friend or loved one and it’s difficult to express yourself verbally, try this technique for a healing. Close your eyes and focus on your breath to calm and center yourself. Imagine you’re having a conversation with them spirit to spirit. Silently make it your intention to communicate to them that you’re sorry for your part in activating any grief in them. Focus your attention on the part of them that is beyond their personality and send them love. At that level everybody is…

Easy to love. 

Jarl and Steve

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