Drama-Go-Round

Aug 04 2015

If you often feel victimized by challenging situations or difficult people, take a moment to pause and ask yourself if you might be attracting them in order to distract yourself from unexplored feelings you have. It doesn’t matter whose problems they are, drama is an energetically draining distraction that slows your personal evolution. It keeps you looking outside yourself for clues to your dissatisfaction instead of where the answer to transformation really lies…

Within.

Jarl and Steve

One response so far

Regret

Aug 03 2015

There are countless forks on the winding road through life. Everyone occasionally looks back and wonders: ‘would life have been better had I taken another path?’ But regret never serves us. Every turn we’ve made resulted in the perfection of the life that grew from that moment until this one. Who knows what might have happened had we chosen differently? The choices we made may have allowed us to avoid intense suffering or even catastrophe. It’s only when we let go of the shoulda/woulda/couldas, that we can do the one thing that creates happiness…

Be present.

Jarl and Steve

3 responses so far

Acceptance

Aug 02 2015

Accepting what is, is the only sane way to live. Resisting it amounts to not dealing with reality. Locking your attention on what you don’t like makes you feel bad and extends the impact of that element in your life. Like a long train ride, you’re bound to pass through places that don’t please you, but knowing you’ll eventually end up at a place you do like makes it all worthwhile. Accepting what is gives you peace of mind in this moment and that makes your ride…

A lot more enjoyable.

Jarl and Steve

No responses yet

What Time Is It?

Aug 01 2015

The past is merely an interpretation of a limited slice of life we experienced and the future is unknowable. Over-thinking the past or future results in missing the NOW. There are times we need to plan, but we can do it while remaining conscious of our thinking. Rehashing old dissatisfaction is a waste. Focusing on what’s happening in this moment permits you to embrace it with your full attention. Creating a lifetime of moments in which you’re present is how you live in the place where true happiness exists…

NOW.

Jarl and Steve

3 responses so far

Getting On with the Present

Jul 31 2015

Dragging unpleasant memories from the past into the present ruins the Now. We can hurt ourselves repeatedly over things that happened long ago. But wounds only heal when we face them and really feel them. Thinking, stewing and talking about them is like picking at an old scab — it irritates the injury without serving any positive purpose. Broadcasting our suffering in order to elicit sympathy or regret from others keeps us stuck in our own pain. The way out is simple: Feel it, forgive it and…

Drop it.

Jarl and Steve

3 responses so far

Make Different Choices

Jul 30 2015

If some aspects of your life don’t feel so good, try making different choices. Often, all you need to do to make an improvement is tweak the way you think and talk about them. Avoid complaining and try to resist recounting stories of misfortune and disappointment to others, it only fuels discontent. If an unpleasant story enters your mind, feel your feelings and let the energy wash through you. Keeping your attention on the parts of your life that you love…

Helps those grow.

Grow.

Jarl and Steve

4 responses so far

Life Is How You Frame It

Jul 29 2015

When you blame any person, place or event outside yourself for the way you feel, you give your power away. No one can make you feel anything. How you frame what happens to you does that. Even though it’s sometimes difficult to admit or even perceive, your experience of life is the product of the way you think about it. Discomfort for one person could be enjoyment for another. Getting conscious of how you frame things puts you in charge. The art of living a joyful life lies in…

The right frame.

Jarl and Steve

6 responses so far

The Value of What Is

Jul 28 2015

Accepting reality as it is, is a sane way to live. In contrast, focusing on what has, is or will go wrong, not only ruins the present moment, it keeps us stuck in a vibration that negatively impacts what comes next. What we think of as mistakes or misfortune often proves valuable later on by showing us what we don’t want and by bringing us a step closer to knowing what we do. Realizing the impossibility of this moment being any different than it is, can help us find the value in…

Everything.

Jarl and Steve

2 responses so far

Authenticity Relieves Anxiety

Jul 27 2015

When you’re comfortable with yourself, you don’t worry about how others perceive you. This doesn’t mean that you behave without concern for their feelings, you just don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Of course there will be a natural selection process, in which those who value the true you continue to love you, while those who don’t fall away. This may be uncomfortable at first, but authenticity not only makes you happier, it brings something that benefits everyone…

Relief.

Jarl and Steve

3 responses so far

Risk It!

Jul 26 2015

The law of risk and return holds true in every aspect of life. If you want success at anything, you have to risk failure. If you want a return on your investment, you have to risk your capital. If you want to experience adventure, you have to leave your comfort zone. If you want more love, you have to risk getting your heart broken…

Open.

Jarl and Steve

2 responses so far

Turn Your Judgments Around

Jul 25 2015

What bothers us most about other people is often the very thing we don’t acknowledge or accept in ourselves. Our egos like us to think our judgments are all about others. But, because it’s so difficult for us to look at ourselves objectively, life uses the people around us as mirrors to reflect what we need to see to expand our self-awareness. This isn’t to say that we can’t discern good behavior from bad, but when a judgment causes a major emotional reaction in us, it’s a sign that we’re projecting. Otherwise, we’d just feel…

Compassion.

Jarl and Steve

3 responses so far

How to Change Your Experience

Jul 24 2015

Your body is your vehicle, your mind is the navigator. Your thoughts and emotions create an energetic field that produces your vibration and attracts experiences to you. People with different frequencies attract different experiences. Once you realize that your vibration determines your quality of life, the benefit of being able to intentionally transform it is obvious. Sitting still in meditation and slipping into the clear, spacious awareness that’s beyond your conditioning and thinking mind, helps you access creativity and allows you to choose a different way of…

Being.

Jarl and Steve

3 responses so far

Relationship Aikido

Jul 23 2015

Just like facing the brunt force of the wind head-on, directly confronting the energy of opposing viewpoints can wear you out and leave you feeling tattered. When you remind yourself of the essential truth that positions (both yours and the other person’s) are partially informed perspectives that are simply your best guesses for the time being, you can soften a little, turn sideways and let the confrontational energy slide right on by you. Once the energy of direct opposition has passed, instead of doing combat to come to an understanding, you can…

Dance.

Jarl and Steve

2 responses so far

Being and Doing

Jul 22 2015

Mistakes don’t define who we are. We aren’t what we do, who we know or what we own. The reason we connect so deeply with old friends is that we recognize that no matter how divergent our paths have been, we’re all essentially the same as we were way back then. It’s further evidence of the fundamental truth that’s so easy to lose sight of in the exhausting dash to define ourselves during our working lives: life isn’t ultimately about doing, it’s…

About being.

Jarl and Steve

4 responses so far

Building Character

Jul 21 2015

Life is sure to throw all kinds of trials our way. The question is how will we use the grist? If we’re cynical, obstacles just serve to confirm our negative outlook on life. If we’re open and willing, they can teach us how to thrive even in the midst of great difficulty. Every unpleasant situation can offer a valuable lesson for our personal growth. It’s easy to be happy when everything’s going our way. It’s only when things aren’t going well that we can master the art of flourishing no matter what’s happening, i.e…

Master life.

Jarl and Steve

2 responses so far

Judging and Grudging

Jul 20 2015

The older we get the more we think our version of life is the truth. We classify large swaths of reality as bad, wrong, objectionable or even evil. This places a huge burden on us. This load of things that isn’t working becomes our constant companion, bogging us down in body and mind. It drains our drive, makes us unhappy in the NOW and pessimistic about the future. The opposite practice actually benefits our health: Continue to discern, but stop looking so hard for problems. Stay open to finding goodness in everything. Same reality…

Different experience.

Jarl and Steve

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