What If You Knew…

Jan 21 2017

What if we live in an energetic matrix that registers and incorporates everything we think, say and do? What if our private judgments have an actual impact on the people they concern? What if every self-criticism does actual harm to our bodies? What if every thought we entertain eventually, in some manner, manifests materially, and becomes part of ‘reality’? That would mean the surest and most direct way to improve anything in our lives would be to cultivate conscious awareness of our thoughts and self-talk. It would mean the world only changes when… 

We do.

Jarl and Steve 

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Mantra Away Judgments

Jan 20 2017

What you say and think radiates through your body and being, affecting you first and foremost. That’s why it’s so important to refrain from mental or verbal criticism of anyone. Eliminating the unconscious habit of complaining or criticizing has a massively positive impact on your overall wellbeing. But, since nature (and your mind) abhors a vacuum, it’s necessary to replace the habitual, running critique with something else. The mantra used in Hawaiian Ho’oponopono works perfectly for this. When you catch a negative thought, replace it with: “I’m sorry, forgive me, thank you, I love you.“…

It works!

Jarl and Steve.

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Turn Your Judgments Around

Jan 19 2017

Every time you have a negative thought about someone, harbor a resentment or even feel annoyed, you diminish your own energy. That’s why it’s critical to spend time with people you appreciate and admire. If you have to be around people whose personalities offend your sensibilities, you can actually benefit from those interactions. Use your intolerance to show you where you don’t accept yourself. The Work’ of Byron Katie is superb at helping you realize that all your judgments of others are really about you. Taking responsibility for your feelings brings…

True freedom. 

Jarl and Steve

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Problem Creator, Problem Solver

Jan 18 2017

The answer to most of your problems is found within. Not only is your own mind responsible for your emotional difficulties, it’s the engine you use to investigate and overcome those difficulties. But you won’t find solutions with the same agitated mind that caused the problems. You have to shift it into neutral. Scan your body and notice your sensations without classifying them as good or bad. Try to accept the moment with equanimity regardless of what sensations show up. This practice facilitates inner calm and helps you understand that peace is always...

Up to you. 

Jarl and Steve

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Of Human Bondage

Jan 17 2017

Bondage is defined as servitude or oppression, usually concerning physical conditions. But there’s a kind of self-inflicted slavery that’s far more insidious and cruel. It constrains our emotional freedom, limits our inner peace and prevents us from being happy. Our overactive minds imprison us in fearful, anxious and obsessive preoccupation with what-ifs and worst-case scenarios. This is the most wretched kind of bondage because there’s no relief from hypotheticals. Unless something threatens our survival right now, quelling this voice is paramount. Focusing on our breath and quieting our minds is the most direct route to …

Relief.

Jarl and Steve

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The Ripples of Dishonesty

Jan 16 2017

Dishonesty is harmful to everyone. Telling little lies to make ourselves feel better actually damages our self-esteem because our subconscious mind assumes the truth of who we are or what we think isn’t good enough. Because we’re all connected to collective consciousness, deep down we know the truth. Deceiving to control others is especially damaging because it makes them distrust their intuition. Unless it’s unasked for or would cause danger, honesty is always the best policy because it puts us in alignment with the people, places and things that serve the best interest…

Of all involved.

Jarl and Steve

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Setting Boundaries for Real

Jan 15 2017

If someone’s behavior is disrespectful or hurtful, complaining and hoping they’ll change is usually ineffective. Allowing unwelcome behavior without establishing real consequences communicates the message that you’re okay with the status quo. When you don’t set boundaries, you forfeit your right to create the kind of life you want to live. If you want different results, you have to do something differently. Committing to following through with consequences after you’ve clearly established your boundaries is how you create relationships that support…  

The life you want.

Jarl and Steve

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The Source of Freedom

Jan 14 2017

It doesn’t matter if your boss tells you what to do everyday or you live in a society that restricts your preferred behavior. It doesn’t really matter if you lack the resources to pay for every desire you have. What does matter is the fact that you are free to create your experience in your mind. Ultimately, you are completely free at any moment to set the parameters that determine your degree of happiness or displeasure. You could require wealth, power and acknowledgment or you can be satisfied…

With a smile from a stranger.

Jarl and Steve 

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Emotional Karma

Jan 13 2017

Most of us accept that actions have consequences. What’s less understood but equally true is that our thoughts and feelings also generate karma. We construct our emotional environment by the way we perceive, create meaning and weave stories about life. Our feelings significantly affect our body, mood and ability to be joyful. The point isn’t to deny or avoid unwanted feelings, but rather to feel them and allow them pass through us. Recognizing what’s going well engenders positive emotion and provides both the immediate and long-term benefits of…

A balanced perspective.

Jarl and Steve

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Honoring Your Word

Jan 12 2017

Keeping your word is good for your self-esteem and helps others know you’re reliable and trustworthy. When you cancel plans because you’re ‘not in the mood’, it sends them the message that you don’t value their time. It also tells your subconscious mind that your word isn’t important. When you permit the normal ups and downs of life (that everyone experiences) to interfere with your commitments, you become a slave to your emotions. When you acknowledge your emotions, process them and keep your word in spite of your mood, you become…

A master.

Jarl and Steve 

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Keep an Open Mind

Jan 11 2017

Each of us looks through a filter of beliefs that we’ve compiled on our particular life journey. Our perspective makes such obvious sense to us that we question the intelligence of anyone who disagrees with us. That’s why investigating our own ideas requires conscious and serious effort, even for the beliefs that don’t serve our own well-being. The fact that so many people with divergent viewpoints actually thrive, proves that the validity of our ideas doesn’t depend on how acceptable they are to others, but rather on how well they support…

Our own well-being.

Jarl and Steve.

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Saying No

Jan 10 2017

Saying no to the things you don’t want is how you grow your life. This may include setting boundaries with friends, family and partners. It may involve changing unhealthy habits or no longer spending time with people who don’t treat you well. Sometimes being able to say no requires first growing your own self-respect. It also necessitates faith that we’re doing the right thing even while we’re scared it’ll damage or end the relationship. But evolution requires us to take this risk in order to grow from where we are to where…

We want to be.

Jarl and Steve

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Pollyanna or Warrior?

Jan 09 2017

People who are perpetually positive are often characterized as Pollyannas, which implies they’re either clueless or in denial about the negative side of life. This simplification overlooks a very important exception. Rather than being naively optimistic, they could be aware of the shadow side and understand that it’s an inescapable and necessary fact of the law of polarity. Rather than being consumed by the heaviness of the darkness, these warriors are wise and skillful enough to hold both good and bad and, in spite of presence of suffering, keep their attention and disposition centered…

In the light. 

Jarl and Steve

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Feelings

Jan 08 2017

The way you feel is mostly determined by how you think. However tempting it is to project responsibility for your emotional reactions outward, it only takes you further away from peace. It increases your suffering and causes feelings of powerlessness, because you have little control over what happens on the outside. Others may be the catalyst for feelings that arise, but not the cause. When you learn to control your thinking and the stories you weave, you begin to see where peace and joy originate…

Within.

Jarl and Steve

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Judgment

Jan 07 2017

The way we feel about others is inextricably linked to the way we feel about ourselves. Aspects of our own personalities that we detest or disown get projected onto others where we subconsciously and mistakenly think it’s safe to dislike them. But disdaining them out there doesn’t serve us. When we’re self-accepting, we respond to others’ behavior with more compassion than criticism. Turning our judgments around and using them as indicators shows us where we need to look within to learn about ourselves. Once we more thoroughly accept ourselves, others start looking…

Much better too.

Jarl and Steve

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Discerning or Judging?

Jan 06 2017

When you have judgments about others, pay attention to the intensity of your feelings. If you have little or no emotional charge, you’re probably just discerning what’s going on. If, on the other hand, you have a strong reaction and find yourself building a case against them, it’s a sign that their behavior triggers your own self-judgment which you’ve projected onto them. Understanding and loving yourself more is the most important work you can do to better enjoy life. Using your judgments as information to show you where you’re withholding love from yourself transforms them into…

Gifts.

Jarl and Steve

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