Roses Are Everywhere

Jun 26 2016

The saying ‘stop and smell the roses’ wisely suggests taking a moment to enjoy where you are right now, even when you’re on your path to somewhere else. The message is profoundly relevant when you consider your entire life is a journey. The flowers won’t smell better at your next destination. In fact, you might be so accustomed to getting somewhere, that you might even forget to enjoy yourself once you’re there. You’re sure to appreciate all your goals and accomplishments when you practice enjoying the process. All along the way, look for the roses…

They’re everywhere.

Steve and Jarl  

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Got to Play to Enjoy

Jun 25 2016

If you feel bad about yourself, others will have a hard time liking you, too. If you worry so much about failing that you don’t even play the game, you’ll fail to grow. If you don’t take a risk because you’re scared of loss, you’ll lose anyway. If you avoid being friendly because you fear rejection, you’ll miss the chance to meet and connect with wonderful people. Sometimes things will work out, sometimes not. But that’s true even if you stay home and do nothing. The world is your playground if

You’re willing to play.

Steve and Jarl

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Cognitive Distress

Jun 24 2016

Most of the suffering we experience is the result of our stories about how things shouldn’t be the way they are. But not liking something doesn’t mean it lacks value or that someone is wrong. The details of every moment show up the only way they can considering the sequence of what’s come before. Every moment gives us the opportunity to grow beyond our conditioning and accept what is or be critical, resist and suffer as a consequence. Consciously surrendering our incessant desire to judge creates an energetic vacuum that invites compassion, understanding and…

Cognitive harmony.

Steve and Jarl 

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Ego Versus Heart

Jun 22 2016

Trying to create and uphold an identity is tiresome because rarely is anything good enough for the Ego. As soon as you accomplish what you thought would make you feel important or satisfied, another goal appears. Rather than allowing the ego to run you ragged chasing endless images of supposed success, tune in to your heart. When you listen to the real you, life flows. You’ll still have goals and pursue them, but you’ll do it more joyfully and with ease. Instead of feeling good when something happens, your new paradigm is…

Feeling good NOW.

Steve and Jarl

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Don’t Judge a Book

Jun 22 2016

Abraham Lincoln wisely said, “I don’t like that man, I must get to know him better.” Our judgments say more about our own mindset than they do about who we’re judging. It’s easy to project unflattering motives on others when their behavior reminds us of something unpleasant from our past. By trying to better understand them, we often find they’re much more complex than our critical opinion may have assumed. Softening and opening to them can reveal aspects of them that we even admire. When we find that, our tolerance helps us to…

Better admire ourselves.

Steve and Jarl

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Your Personal Soundtrack

Jun 21 2016

Your thoughts create a soundtrack that colors your entire life. Thinking of negative potentialities, being suspicious of others or worrying creates a discordant accompaniment that makes you feel bad. The more you dredge up and entertain stories from the past, the more of a habit it becomes. You’ve already lived through those episodes once, there’s no upside to reliving them. This unnecessary recycling of old complaints simply takes you down. The remedy is to consciously nip the temptation to retell unpleasant stories by focusing instead on something in your immediate surroundings that you can easily…

Appreciate.

Steve and Jarl 

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Skin Deep

Jun 20 2016

When we meet others we don’t like or understand, it’s tempting to be dismissive or spin a story about their weirdness or inferiority. This kind of characterization permits us to exclude them from consideration and kindness. But if instead we consciously observe the situation and use every difficult or unpleasant interaction as an opportunity to develop our own capacity for understanding and tolerance, we’ll soon discover that those people are much more like us than they are different. The more we try to understand them, the more understanding, tolerant and kinder we become…

To ourselves.

Steve and Jarl.

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What Is Perfect?

Jun 19 2016

There are many versions of perfect. What works for each human being is unique. Ultimately, perfect is in the eye of the beholder. As long as you judge anything as imperfect, you can’t fully appreciate it. But, if you changed your idea of perfect to match what you see, it would result in a huge increase in your joy. In other words, instead of trying to change the world to make it match your idea of perfection, change your idea of perfection to…

Match what is.

Steve and Jarl

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Real Love Comes from Self-love

Jun 18 2016

It’s only possible to love others if we love ourselves. When we take care of our own needs, we don’t expect others to prove they love us by sacrificing their desires to satisfy ours. Wanting our loved one to do what we want rather than what they want sends the message to them that we care less about their happiness than our own. Ironically, when we want them to do what will make them happy, the unconditional nature of our love for them naturally makes them want to do what will make us happy…

That’s a win-win.

Steve and Jarl

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It’s Not Missing

Jun 17 2016

When you drop the idea that something is missing in your life, it’s free to appear. What you focus on expands. As long as your consciousness is stuck on what you don’t have, it will continue to elude you. Your desire is a message from your future expanded-self informing you of what lies ahead. You wouldn’t have the desire if its fulfillment wasn’t possible in some way. What you want is simply waiting for you to come into alignment with it. Feeling grateful for what you already have creates a magnetic field that attracts...

Your perfect future.

Steve and Jarl

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Enjoy This Moment

Jun 16 2016

Don’t postpone enjoying life until some point in a foggy future. Enjoying the Now helps you achieve success in all your endeavors. The practice of finding something to appreciate no matter what’s happening transforms your life. It eventually becomes an effortless habit that yields fantastic dividends. Living in continuous appreciation keeps you alert, engaged, positive and happy. Some may consider it magical thinking or too simplistic, but those who know, understand that gratitude is an effective and accessible elixir that produces…

True well-being.

Steve and Jarl

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No Bad without Good

Jun 15 2016

Some challenges feel so bad it’s hard to imagine you’ll ever recover. That’s when it’s most important not to deny or stuff your anguish. Feeling your feelings is a central part of moving through hardships. But even at the lowest point, you can remind yourself that upsides always follow downsides. There’s often a lag between the hardship and your ability to perceive the benefit, but just know that, no matter how bad things seem in any particular moment, nothing exists without it’s opposite. The pain eventually turns into…

Gratitude.

Steve and Jarl 

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Believe This

Jun 14 2016

Believers of every ilk are convinced that their form of worship, ethics, social responsibility or family values are the necessary ingredients for a good life. The exact road map that leads to a happy life could be debated eternally. But what is not debatable is that we don’t actually have a moment to waste trying to achieve goals that might eventually make us happy. Happiness is something that comes from tuning in to the NOW, finding something to appreciate in it and thoroughly…

Enjoying the gift.

Steve and Jarl

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Happiness Is Up to You

Jun 13 2016

It’s no one else’s responsibility to make us happy. That’s our job. We’re born with the freedom to choose to look for and find the upside of every situation and use it to grow. Joy has little to do with the outside world and everything to do with how we frame our experience. Holding others responsible for how we feel comes from failing to recognize our own power. Taking responsibility for creating our own feelings is one of the most freeing things we can do because it puts us…

In the driver’s seat.

Steve and Jarl   

 


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Surrender the Outcome

Jun 12 2016

In order to make our dreams reality, we need to create a personal vortex that draws what we want to us. We do this by anticipating the feeling we’re after and feeling it. Ironically, until we can imagine and feel what we want, it’s not ours to have. Becoming clear about the feeling we want gives life the information it needs to align the details to fulfill our wishes. The next step is counter-intuitive but absolutely central to our success…

Surrender the results.

Steve and Jarl

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Life Isn’t Fair

Jun 11 2016

When you look around and see the diversity of material fortune, intelligence, physical prowess and natural beauty, life sometimes doesn’t seem fair. What’s not so obvious is that even a super abundance of these qualities can’t guarantee a happy life. That only happens when you tap into the true source of your well-being: your ability to feel grateful for whatever it is that you do have. Comparing is a dead-end. Gratitude tunes your energy so that whatever shows up next, is even better. When you think about that, it’s actually…

Really fair.

Steve and Jarl

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