The more you look for something, the greater the chance you’ll find it. If you are determined to catalog every way in which the world seems unfair, dangerous or hopeless, you will certainly be able to find evidence that justifies your opinion. Likewise, if you believe that the world is a playground for limitless beauty, growth, compassion, kindness and miracles, you will find that. The difference?
Your experience of life.
Steve and Jarl
Single cell organisms feel the presence of food in their vicinity and expand to encompass these nutrients in order to sustain themselves. They don’t strategize about how they’re going to hunt down a tasty meal, they just sense it out there and include it within themselves. You too can do this by knowing what you want and then consciously expanding enough to feel and embody having it. If you imagine having what you want so thoroughly that it feels totally real, it’s on it’s way…
Expand and include.
Steve and Jarl
If you think your loved ones are supposed to make you happy, you’re operating under an erroneous and damaging misconception. Expecting your mate to satisfy your needs places too much burden on them and usually backfires. When you take responsibility for your own happiness, ironically, others will be inclined to contribute to your well being…
Voluntarily.
Steve and Jarl
If life doesn’t show up the way you want it to, don’t fret. There’s a remedy. First, realize that your thinking and behavior isn’t in alignment with what you actually want. Second, go to neutral. Drop the desire for things to be other than they are. Accept what is. From this vibration, you can visualize what you do want. Embody the feeling of having it. Clearing your mind by going to neutral not only feels good now, it prepares you for ongoing fulfillment.
Spectacular.
Steve and Jarl
Blaming the world for your dissatisfaction is a waste of time and makes you feel powerless. Reality doesn’t get it wrong. What presents itself in each moment is the result of the contributions of everyone on the planet. Each person acts to the best of their ability from their current level of evolution. Resisting what is won’t rectify the situation, but it will prevent you from feeling joyful. Stop comparing what you see to what you think ‘should’ be happening and thank the messengers who provide opportunities for you to learn…
How to be happy.
Steve and Jarl
Everyone has individual tastes. The less self-aware you are, the less likely you are to curb the habit of being overly critical when something doesn’t suit your preferences. Every judgment you make amounts to holding something against someone, but you’re the one who feels your judgment first. The more people you place in the ‘wrong’ category, the more repugnant the world seems to you, until eventually this attitude pollutes your entire outlook on life. Or, you could maintain a healthy sense of discernment, while allowing differences of opinion to just be. Lighter…
And sweeter.
Steve and Jarl
You know good advice when you hear it because you already possess the wisdom you seek out there. But how do you make what you already know a bigger part of your everyday life? Practice remembering. Every time you feel discomfort or sadness, remind yourself that life can only unfold as it does; your interpretation affects how you feel; now is the only time you can enjoy life, and; no matter how bad things seem, this too shall pass. Reminding yourself of your innate wisdom regularly turns those occasional moments of contentment into…
A whole life.
Steve and Jarl
Difficult relationships can teach you valuable lessons. If you use them to evolve your self-awareness, they show you the importance of not taking things personally and being tolerant. The more self-loving you are, the less you’ll react to what appear to be personal attacks. You’ll understand that everyone is just doing what they can in each moment. Loving yourself means trying to communicate your feelings with kindness. Tolerance and understanding can work wonders. Expect the highest purpose and then…
Let go of the outcome.
Steve and Jarl
Everything you’ve experienced in life influences the way you deal with what happens next. Each action and reaction is a by-product of how you feel physically, mentally and emotionally. Even though you recognize this truth in a thoughtful moment, you may still condemn people (yourself included) when certain behavior doesn’t live up to your expectations. It’s much easier for everyone to understand their role and responsibility in a situation when blame and shame aren’t part of the equation. Accept what happens as inevitable, set boundaries and insist on accountability, but…
Never shame.
Steve and Jarl
Do you over-think your problems, re-hashing conversations and unpleasant events ad-nauseum? If so, you have a lot of company because it’s normal behavior! Don’t worry, with a bit of effort, you can find meaningful relief. Next time you notice yourself obsessively thinking about something that didn’t feel good, get out of your head and into your body by focusing on your breath. Notice the air coming in and out as your chest rises and falls. Pay attention to your entire body all at once and anchor your attention there.
Instant relief.
Steve and Jarl
It’s a commonly held belief that pessimists are realistic and optimists are naive or even in denial. But, simple common sense clearly demonstrates the down-side of constantly looking for and discovering what’s wrong. Negativity drains your energy and takes you out of balance. This creates a perpetual cycle of decreased motivation that results in a reduced ability to develop innovative and healthy solutions. It’s your choice whether you will look for the light in the dark or the dark in the light. What hangs in the balance is crucial…
How you feel about life.
Steve and Jarl
If you feel judged by someone, it’s probably just your own self-judgment being mirrored back to you. The more that judgment hurts, the more you share the same feeling about yourself. If this weren’t the case, you’d just see it for what it is, their own projection. You can use the situation to evolve your consciousness and raise your self-esteem. When you realize that everything is a mirror reflecting back to you your feelings about yourself, the judgment becomes useful information and you can…
Meet it with gratitude.
Steve and Jarl
Sometimes the pressure to conform extends too far into your individual expression as a human being and causes you to lose sight of what you really want. Rather than being motivated by what moves you inside, you might unconsciously pursue activities, behaviors and even an entire way of life that ignores your truth. You know when you’ve gone astray when you lose your enthusiasm. A good way to stay true to your raison d’être is to ask yourself this simple question every time you undertake a new endeavor:
Does this feel in alignment with the real me?
Steve and Jarl
You create your experience of life in every moment through the way in which you register what you see. It’s not always obvious that you’re making choices, especially when things out there seem so wrong to you. But others may look upon the very same scene and have a neutral or even positive reaction. When you realize just how much power you have over your life experience, it’s delightfully liberating. You can transform any discontent you experience because it comes from a place in which you have absolute authority…
Your thinking.
Steve and Jarl
The most important environment you experience in life is the one in your head. The constant stream of observations, judgments, exhortations and self-critiques that characterize it determine how you’ll feel, what you’ll do and how you do it. If your dance through life doesn’t feel good, you need to change the tune in your head. When you stop being self-critical, looking for what’s wrong and comparing yourself with others and instead begin trying to appreciate some aspect of every person and situation you encounter, you’ll have a lighter step as you…
Waltz through life.
Steve and Jarl
Although society would have you think otherwise, happiness doesn’t come from money, fame or other kinds of recognition. It doesn’t matter how many ground-breaking discoveries you’ve made or feats of bravery you’ve accomplished. What does matter is how you feel about yourself. Contentment is a state of mind you experience when you allow yourself to relax. When you drop all your prerequisites (success, money, partner, etc.,) and sink into this moment with deep appreciation of all that you do have, you’ve found something special…
The joy of living.
Steve and Jarl
