Trust Yourself

Aug 29 2016

If you’re like most people, you probably don’t trust that you’re inherently good, lovable and sufficiently worthy. You’re not sure that you’re making the right choices, performing your best or maximizing your life in the highest possible way. You may be anxious about your ability to be resilient or handle future difficulties. The strange part of this mindset is how inaccurate it is. You are capable, you can adapt, you don’t need validation and you always make the best decisions you can in each moment. Start trusting yourself; when you do, life…

Feels good.

Jarl and Steve

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Solving Problems with Others

Aug 28 2016

There are many different ways to deal with relationship difficulties. Some are more effective than others. Demonizing and building a mental case against them, so we don’t have to take responsibility for the disharmony, is not an effective approach. Directly confronting them or arguing to try to make them see our point of view doesn’t work so well either. Since we’re all connected and sense each others feelings, there’s another approach that’s far more effective and deserves serious consideration…

Love them.

Jarl and Steve

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The Rescuer Complex

Aug 27 2016

Basing our self-worth on our ability to rescue others might seem noble, but upon deeper reflection we see it necessitates someone else being weak so that we can feel good. This unhealthy dynamic doesn’t help them, in fact, it takes their power away. The reason we want to be ‘the helper’ is to improve our own self-esteem. But confidence that relies on diminishing others isn’t real. It’s far healthier to become conscious of these impulses and work on improving our own self-image until we accept ourselves…

Unconditionally.

Jarl and Steve

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Take Care of Yourself

Aug 26 2016

When you take care of yourself first, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not the kind of person who tries to get others to do what you want them to do instead of what they want to do. Self-reliance not only makes you independent, it allows you to give without expectation. Others can relax and enjoy being around you because they know there’s no obligation. It’s ironic, but when you don’t expect others to care for you, they actually want to. The biggest benefit you get from being self-sufficient is that you enjoy being…

With you.

Jarl and Steve

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Don’t Wait for Inspiration

Aug 25 2016

Creating is easier when you’re inspired, but if you wait for inspiration to come before you begin, you could be waiting a life time. Inspiration arrives on its own schedule. However, you can prime the pump by getting started on your project right now, then commit to taking one step at a time. Every challenge you surmount further stimulates your creativity to thrive. Regularity may seem antithetical to the ethos of inspired work, but creators of every ilk know the truth in these words of Einstein: “Genius is 1% talent and…

99% hard work.”

Jarl and Steve

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Inner & Outer Dialogue Matter

Aug 24 2016

Have you ever noticed that people who frequently feel down complain about life in detail and those who are happy talk about the good things? It’s no coincidence. Though it requires effort and practice to stay conscious of how you think and talk, doing so has a huge payoff. When you become aware of your internal and external dialogue the connection between how you feel and the nature of your thoughts and speech becomes very clear. Once you’re aware…

Change happens naturally.

Jarl and Steve

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Transforming Our Energy

Aug 23 2016

When we’re stressed out, life seems more challenging than usual. What’s really going on is that our dampened energy and mood causes us to negatively interpret what’s happening. That’s why staying conscious is so important. It is especially when we’re low that it’s crucial to monitor the way we think and speak. Transforming our energy can be as simple as quietly running a positive mantra that isn’t necessarily directed at any person or situation. Repeat ‘I love you’ over and over until you begin to feel the benefits of what you’re creating…

Internal sunshine.

Jarl and Steve

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Gate Keeper

Aug 22 2016

Think of your life as an exclusive resort. You’ll need to maintain the grounds and keep things up. Deferred maintenance costs you dearly down the road. You are in charge of who gets to come to the resort and spend time with you. You get to decide what the rules are and kind of behavior is off-limits. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable telling visitors that the way they’re acting isn’t allowed, but it’s worth the discomfort. The more clearly you the activities and conduct that are acceptable, the more your personal resort turns into a…

Happy playground.

Jarl and Steve 

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Protecting Our Identity

Aug 21 2016

The fear instinct serves the purpose of guiding us away from danger or life threatening events. As we begin to develop an identity, we also begin to fear anything that endangers it. Most of us have a limited idea of who we really are, which keeps us playing small. We erect walls around our fabricated sense of self to protect it. This reduces our willingness to be open with others and narrows our experience of life. Ironically, our survival has nothing to do with protecting our identity. In fact, our freedom depends on…

Letting go of it.

Jarl and Steve

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The Benefits of Adversity

Aug 20 2016

It’s not what happens to us, but how we deal with it that makes the difference in our lives. If we crumble into a heap or go into victim mode, challenges don’t help us much. If instead we choose to inquire more deeply, we’ll become skilled at finding how the situation can benefit us. Being attached to our notion of how life should be and resisting change are the behaviors that really cause us to suffer. Accepting life as it shows up and opening to the lessons makes us resilient and perfectly positioned to…

Thrive.

Jarl and Steve

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Get Conscious and Feel Good

Aug 19 2016

We all hold unconscious beliefs that cause us to suffer. Fortunately, if we’re courageous enough to inquire within, our suffering can actually help wake us up. The stronger the reaction is, the more likely it involves a belief that doesn’t serve us. The more conscious we become of unhealthy beliefs, the less control they have over us. The more willing we are to let go of old beliefs, the more rapidly we evolve. The less resistance we have, the more relaxed we are and…

The better we feel.

Jarl and Steve.

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Giving for Real

Aug 18 2016

Expecting something in return for a ‘gift’, isn’t real giving, it’s making a trade. Even just wanting an ‘appropriate’ response of appreciation muddies the waters of the offering. Pretending to give when there are actually strings attached is similar to acting like the cow who gives a full bucket of milk and then sticks her foot in it. The way to truly give is freely and with no conditions. You know when it’s real giving because you’d be just as happy offering your gift anonymously. That’s when your reward comes from the joy…

Of giving itself.

Jarl and Steve 

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Now Is It

Aug 17 2016

We can get so distracted focusing on success, money and possessions, that we forget why we pursue these things in the first place: we yearn to feel validated and secure. It’s obvious why we want to feel this way, but chasing it too strenuously can cause the negative effect of making us feel like we have too little time to enjoy ourselves. True fulfillment can be found doing anything, anytime, anywhere as long as we’re focused in the present moment. That’s because the only time that’s not an abstract figment of our imagination is…

Now.

Jarl and Steve   

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Challenges Strengthen You

Aug 16 2016

You can lift a barbell, but if doesn’t have any weight on it, you won’t build muscle. It’s the same with life. You need resistance to make you stronger, more fit and more prepared for even greater adventures. When it comes to living a full life, facing and overcoming challenges helps you to develop fortitude, enhance your capacity and expand your horizons so that your path surely leads you in the direction that enhances your life: onward and…

Upward.

Jarl and Steve 

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I Love You

Aug 15 2016

Some may find it strange to talk lovingly to plants, but it’s not to those who’ve experienced the beneficial effects. Plants aren’t alone in responding positively to love, everything does. The best thing about radiating love outward is the effect it has on you inwardly. Everything you say or think is felt by you first. When you think loving thoughts and say loving words, they reverberate throughout your body, into your immediate environment and out farther than you might think. To enhance the well-being of the world, create this internal mantra and repeat frequently…

I–LOVE–YOU.

Jarl and Steve

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Victim Thinking

Aug 14 2016

Identifying as a victim never benefits us. While it may be true that something bad happened, it’s only a part of the equation. Focusing on the unfortunate part and who’s to blame fuels the fire of discontent and keeps us stuck. The unwanted event happened once, but we victimize ourselves every time we think about or tell the story to others. Fortunately, as conscious beings, we have the ability to focus our attention on whatever empowers us and helps us grow. Taking responsibility for our part, raises our consciousness, heals our past and…

Lightens our load.

Jarl and Steve 

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