Secure in Yourself

May 02 2016

Basing your sense of self worth on your image, reputation or possessions feels great when those elements are going well. When they’re not, it can provoke an identity crisis. There’s no need to eliminate the desire to accomplish great things or pursue material goals, but life is consistently better when your sense of self comes from deeper within. You are far more than what you do, what you have or how you look. Your value to the world is your uniqueness. Nothing on the outside can enhance or diminish it. You are already

Perfect.

Steve and Jarl 

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Attractions

May 01 2016

The attraction of opposites often stems from a desire to feel accepted or complete. An introvert may feel enlivened by the social stimulation provided by an extrovert or an extrovert may enjoy the sense of internal depth an introvert might bring to the relationship. While these partnerships can work out well, they can also fuel insecurity and resentment if our sense of wholeness is dependent on the other. When we’re matched with someone more like us, the love we feel for them strengthens our self-love because we accept and appreciate in ourselves, what we…

Love in them.

Steve and Jarl

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The Power of Communication

Apr 30 2016

When an uncomfortable issue arises, communicating makes a huge difference in the outcome because it shows that you care about the connection. Avoiding the issue or pretending the problem will go away on its own usually just make matters worse. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and expressing yourself honestly and kindly, even if it’s uncomfortable almost always pays off. When your intention is to heal the energy of the situation, others sense it. They feel acknowledged and you feel…

Authentic and courageous.

Steve and Jarl

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Ego Balancing

Apr 29 2016

Playing the comparison game is one of the most common things your ego does to keep you stuck in your false identity. It looks for faults in others in order to keep you feeling superior. While this strategy can provide a temporary boost, it eventually backfires because your subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between you and them. Becoming conscious of its tricks is crucial if you want to live in alignment with your Authentic Self. When you catch your ego comparing, try using this empowering mantra to take the place of the negativity…

Thank you, I love you.

Steve and Jarl

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Joy in the Journey

Apr 28 2016

Our lives are like winding roads leading to the top of personally-defined mountains. Some of us yearn for accomplishment while others desire recognition. Many of the turns on the journey are blind and the pavement bumpy. We all hope that the ultimate destination will feel exhilarating and put an end to stress. Uncomfortable interludes on the way up the mountain are considered to be the price of getting to the top. In fact, every inch of progress yields better vistas, purer air and more happiness. The truth is that the joy is actually in…

The Journey.

Steve and Jarl 

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Emotional Circulation

Apr 27 2016

Engines require circulating water to prevent overheating. Humans keep cool by allowing our feelings to flow through us. When we obsess on a particular thought or feeling, the flow of energy in both mind and body is disrupted. We normally only get stuck when we’re in resistance. Fortunately, there’s a way to deal with this blockage whether we’re feeling regret, anger, sadness, fear or anxiety: Feel the feelings as sensations in your body, accept what you notice and…

Let go.

Steve and Jarl  

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The Shame of ‘Should’

Apr 26 2016

How you frame your experiences has a huge impact on your life. Regret is a bad habit that results from believing that you (or anyone) should have done things differently. First of all, you can’t know if that’s true since the lesson might be more important than the outcome. Shoulda’s, woulda’s and coulda’s make you feel bad now for things you believe ought to have happened differently in the past. If you want to ‘improve’ the future, try to act as consciously as you can in the present and remember that the past…

Got you here.

Steve and Jarl 

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Big Self, Little Self

Apr 25 2016

Our Big Self knows we’re all connected. Our little self sees others as just characters in our story. Big Self understands everyone is doing their best. Little self uses blame and shame to ‘set others straight’. Big Self understands that in the dance of life, no role is nobler than any other. Little self always wants a starring role. Big Self connects and understands that a good life is based on love, not winning. Little self counts and compares. Coming from our Big Self…

IS happiness.

Steve and Jarl     

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Don’t Worry Be Happy.

Apr 24 2016

While there are many factors that contribute to your overall well-being, your mind plays a crucial role. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the body follows the mind’s direction. Stress, tension, worry and negativity block the flow of energy (or ‘chi’) traveling to each organ thereby interfering with health. Being mindful of the thoughts you cultivate and developing a relaxed, positive and grateful attitude help your body function optimally. Having fun and enjoying life isn’t frivolous, it’s…

Good medicine.

Steve and Jarl

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You Choose Your Feelings

Apr 23 2016

Your emotional environment is created by your thoughts. Where you place anything on the continuum from good to bad determines how you feel about it. Habitually identifying things as wrong or bad will eventually lower your emotional set point. To radically improve the way you feel about life, focus on love, gratitude, acceptance and trust as often as possible. This creates an attitude that elevates you beyond the paradigm of right and wrong and into one that recognizes the benefit almost everything has to offer for all involved…

Especially you.

Steve and Jarl

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Laugh Attack

Apr 22 2016

What is fun, free and feels so good it can benefit you like medicine? Laughter! A hearty belly laugh creates an inner glow, burns calories, reduces stress, relieves pain, increases immune function, raises endorphin levels, oxygenates organs, boosts circulation, lightens moods, combats depression and leaves you with an overall sense of well-being. As long as you’re not laughing at somebody, the only side effect is unintended abdominal strengthening. It may leave you nearly as sore as a workout at the gym but, compared to doing sit-ups…

It’s far more enjoyable. 

Steve and Jarl

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Others’ Shoes

Apr 21 2016

Because we all view the world through our own unique lens, it’s difficult to understand why some people act the way they do. We might get agitated or even angry seeing someone driving recklessly fast, while possibly endangering themselves and others. But if we found out that they were transporting a desperately ill loved one to the hospitable, our attitude might change. Imagine what the world would be like if we assumed that everyone who behaved ‘offensively’ had a justifiable reason. It’d be…

Much kinder.

Steve and Jarl 

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Get Over It Quickly

Apr 20 2016

Everyone occasionally deals with hardship and suffering. Some experiences are minor inconveniences, others might be extremely painful. If we try to control our lives to avoid these experiences, not only are we likely to be unsuccessful, we could actually miss the richness of life altogether. A better choice is to acknowledge difficulties as unavoidable and make an intention to move through them quickly. When we sincerely feel our feelings, drop resentment, forgive easily, love generously (ourselves and others), honor the ordinary and let go of the debris of the past, we…

Maximize the present.

Steve and Jarl 

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Honesty Improves Self-Esteem

Apr 19 2016

The best thing you can do to enhance your self-esteem is be totally honest. What you actually say and do doesn’t matter nearly as much as how you feel about it. When you hide the truth, stretch it, or lie, your subconscious mind gets the message that you’re ashamed of what you’re doing. Being honest might be uncomfortable or create some backlash, but eventually it will align you with what’s right for you. Being completely honest can feel scary and risky sometimes, but it’s a great way to find your flow and…

Feel good.

Steve and Jarl

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Your Identity

Apr 18 2016

Nurturing an identity can be fun and give you a sense of purpose, but it can also be the cause of suffering when you don’t get the reflection you want. Trying to project and maintain a particular image is exhausting. Sometimes efforts designed to instill admiration backfire and seem foolish. The understanding that the role you play isn’t who you really are makes the difference between emotional angst and peace. Be like an actor who doesn’t confuse her role for who she is outside the theater. When you’re comfortable with who you truly are, you’re…

At peace.

Steve and Jarl 

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Beliefs

Apr 17 2016

When we have entrenched beliefs, it’s normal to look for information that confirms our perspective. Just remember people with different opinions do the same. Just because they don’t agree with us doesn’t mean they’re wrong. They’ve probably found as much support for their point of view as we have for ours. Great conversations and deeper understanding come opening to the possibility that multiple viewpoints could be partially valid. Growing beyond the need to be right is an important step in our personal evolution. It’s one that signals we’re…

Cultivating wisdom.

Steve and Jarl

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