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Are you working yourself to the bone so you can ‘afford’ to relax in the future? Since you can never be sure your plans will work out as you hope, indefinitely putting off living the way you want to, right now, is a risky proposition. What lies ahead is unknown, but if your perfect moment does arrive, you might not even know how to relax and enjoy it. The longer you stay out of balance, the harder it is to find it. The solution: find a way to enjoy everything you do.

Start now.

Steve and Jarl

There’s nothing more beneficial for your personal well-being than acknowledging how you really feel, exploring what’s making you feel that way, (it’s never anyone else) and then acting in alignment with what’s true for you. Untamed thoughts and unexplored feelings promote confusion, unwanted moods, projection and a tendency to blame others for how you feel. These are all hazardous to your physical health and your relationships. Regular self-inquiry and self-honestly does wonders in bringing you into harmony with the person that matters most: You! Tune in, take responsibility and most of all…

Be true to yourself.

Steve and Jarl 

The concept that something was a mistake is based upon the incorrect  understanding that what doesn’t seem right to you, must be wrong. In truth, what occurs at any moment is the culmination of everything that’s happened up until that instant in time. Even though you might not like it, it had to go down exactly as it did. When you accept that reality never gets it wrong, the now becomes the perfect place from which to launch yourself into a more satisfying future…

Consciously.

Steve and Jarl

While reading the newspaper or watching the nightly news, are you consciously aware that what’s reported is a negative and unbalanced view of the world? Are you cognizant that the focus on shocking and tragic events conveys a skewed message which evokes fear? A steady diet promotes a pessimistic attitude by diminishing your awareness of the pervasive acts of kindness and love that do occur in every moment. Since how you feel is so dependent on the kind of thought stream you cultivate and inhabit, think twice about ingesting that toxicity daily.

Abstinence promotes bliss.

Steve and Jarl

Do you have imaginary conversations, in which you try to convince others of the error of their ways and the wisdom of yours? While it’s completely normal, it’s not good for you or your imaginary audience. It’s the activity of an insecure ego that not only drains your energy, but locks you into your positions. A better use of your time would be to find something about them that you appreciate. That breaks you free from the control of your ego and realigns you with your true self. Plus, it feels more loving…

To you and them.  

Steve and Jarl

Projecting a consistent personality in order to function well in family, work and relationships might make others feel more comfortable around you, but it can seriously limit your own personal expression and enjoyment of life. On the other hand, letting go of your fear of judgment makes you more flexible, more able to admit when you’re wrong and capable of pivoting when the situation calls for it. When you detach from the fly paper of your identity, you can… 

Soar through life.

Steve and Jarl

 

Does fear of exiting your comfort zone prevent you from trying new things? Do you worry that a less-than-perfect result may interfere with your self-image and the way others feel about you? You can free yourself from this concern by letting go of attachment to the outcome and focusing your energy on the process rather than the product.  When you derive your satisfaction from the journey, the destination…

Is icing on the cake.

Steve and Jarl

Nagging mental tapes that tell you what you should be doing are draining and anxiety-producing. They take you out of the present moment and into a world of self-spun fantasy. When your ‘shoulds’ run the show, you believe the stressful stories of past and future that were weaved with worry. That makes it difficult for you to appreciate the beauty of this instant. Rather than ‘should-ing’ on yourself, try to get present and fully experience the moment you’re in. It’s the direct path to greater satisfaction for a very simple reason…

It’s the only thing that’s real.

Steve and Jarl 

Is there a new way you’d like to be in the world that you just can’t seem to make happen? Here’s how to start: Get really clear about what you want and visualize it. If your desire is to be happier, try to conjure up that feeling however you can, as often as you can. In other words, fake it until it’s real. If you do it enough…

Soon, it will be.

Steve and Jarl

 

 

Sages have been teaching students how to light their internal fire for centuries. This practice is for anyone, regardless of religious persuasion or philosophy. Be still, quiet your mind and take a moment to embody the feeling you seek. If it’s contentment you want, ignite that flame during this practice by using whatever mental prompts you can to get into that space. Remind yourself that it’s available to you any time you pause and think to shift into it. Then your task for the rest of the day is simple…

Keep it lit.

Steve and Jarl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you’re struggling with someone over an issue that you just can’t seem to get past, assume that there’s something for you to become aware of and that they are the perfect person to hear it from. This disagreement has arisen for a reason. Otherwise, this drama wouldn’t be showing up on your radar. Rather than trying to convince, control or persuade them, listen to what they’re saying. Pretend they’re expressing an opinion about someone else and try to see their point of view. You’ve got nothing to lose…

And a lot to gain.  

Steve and Jarl 

Next time you make a snap judgment about someone, ask yourself this question: If you had exactly the same DNA, the same family experience, education, social relationships, advantages, disadvantages, insights and blind spots – would you have behaved any differently? Probably not. You’d be exactly like them. Any negative judgment you have of them for being the way they are is misplaced. The only intelligent response when dealing with others who (in your estimation) behave badly or have opinions you don’t accept is quite simple…

Understanding.

Steve and Jarl

You are the captain of your own private ship, continuously sailing the waterways of life. You can’t always predict the conditions: sometimes there’s too much wind, sometimes too little. Occasionally you’ll have issues with your vessel that require attention. Regardless of where you’re headed or the kind of boat you’re in, you can control one thing that makes the difference between a miserable voyage and one of pleasure: how you log the events on your journey. It is possible to interpret every single thing on your cruise as some kind of blessing…

Will you?

Steve and Jarl

Life feels more challenging when you’re out of balance physically, mentally or emotionally. When opposing muscles aren’t equally strong, one pulls the other out of kilter and causes pain. When you’re thinking is unrealistically positive or too negative, you’ll eventually feel disappointed or depressed. Emotional drama queens drain everyone’s energy and those who are devoid of emotion eventually bore themselves to death. The best thing you can do to ensure your overall well-being requires some effort, but its efficacy is supported by the wisdom in every culture both past and present…

Cultivate balance.

Steve and Jarl

It takes courage to admit that the way you perceive someone has more to do with your filter than with who they actually are. It also takes conscious effort to see through a tricky ego that prefers to attribute responsibility for undesirable aspects of life onto others. Next time you catch yourself blaming someone, ask yourself if you’re really surprised with the the way things are. Honestly investigate how your behavior might have contributed to this outcome. Don’t blame yourself, just get real. This kind of honesty empowers you to create…

The kind of reflection you want.

Steve and Jarl  

If some aspect of your life seems unfulfilling, there’s a remedy. It doesn’t involve strategizing or chasing after what you want. You don’t have to exhaust yourself trying to change outer circumstances. You just need to make an adjustment within yourself. When you focus on what you don’t have, you actually create the feeling of lack. Instead of keeping your attention on what you’re missing, look for ways, however small, in which you already do have what you want…

Expand that feeling. 

Steve and Jarl 

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