Shake It Up

Oct 09 2015

No matter what stage of life we’re in, stepping out of our comfort zone is enlivening and rewarding. A risk free life may feel good and appear safe, but it doesn’t encourage personal expansion. A journey without growth is so uninspiring that it can dim the light that naturally shines in each of us. Just as daily stretching keeps our bodies limber, welcoming new challenges helps us continue to evolve mentally and emotionally. When we’re not growing, we’re stagnating and that’s

Really risky.

Jarl and Steve

No responses yet

True Freedom

Oct 08 2015

Sometimes life just doesn’t go your way. As hard as you work at it, things don’t seem to unfold according to your plans. Rather than feeling bad, complaining or wishing things were different, you can do something far more healthy and effective: Accept things exactly the way they are. Admit that you don’t have the answers at this moment. Allow yourself to just be in the situation, even if it feels scary. Acknowledge and feel your fear. Look within to the part of you that knows everything is just right…

As it is.

Jarl and Steve

2 responses so far

Don’t Box Yourself In

Oct 07 2015

We develop our identities early in life according to family, ethnic group or religion. Later we use careers, hobbies and talents to differentiate ourselves. But, believing that these circumstantial elements define who we are is limiting. It’s like squeezing ourselves into a tiny box and looking for others who inhabit a similar container. However, we needn’t narrow our world to only those who have the same politics, religion or ethnicity. Expanding past these boundaries helps us embrace new worlds, experiences and people we’d otherwise never even see. These self-imposed barriers often hide…

Amazing beauty.

Jarl and Steve

No responses yet


Oct 06 2015

Defensiveness comes from a lack of self-acceptance. If someone has an issue about something we accept in ourselves, their judgments won’t sting or stick. However, if we’re constantly blaming and shaming ourselves internally, we’ll often hear the words of others as criticism, even when it’s not, and plummet straight into defense mode. If you notice yourself going over that edge, stop and go within. Find in your body the sensations that are driving you to protect what you don’t want to face. Tell yourself that you’re ready to acknowledge and feel it…

Then watch it heal.

Jarl and Steve

4 responses so far

The Conditioned Self

Oct 05 2015

As we grow from infancy into early childhood, our experiences combined with our individual natures form a layer of conditioning that acts as a filter through which we see life. This filter is as unique as our finger prints. Our viewpoint and the story we tell ourselves about it comes from the conclusions we make as we weave together our experiences. We’re making up our story based on the artistic materials (our perceptions) we have to work with. Realizing this gives us the freedom to make up new stories if we want, or…

Drop them altogether.

Jarl and Steve

No responses yet

Investigating Emotional Abuse

Oct 04 2015

Healthy people care about how others feel and expect the same in return. But people who grow up in emotionally abusive environments are less likely to acknowledge their own feelings or feel worthy of respect. Because of what was modeled, they often attract partners who lack self-respect and treat each other accordingly. Most of us have blind spots that could benefit from the light of our attention. Becoming aware of what constitutes emotional abuse and taking an honest look inside to see our own patterns (without defensiveness) is how we let…

The healing begin.

Jarl and Steve

One response so far

Pure Awareness

Oct 03 2015

Most of us are so identified with our thinking that we don’t realize where it comes from. By sitting quietly and noticing the gap between our thoughts, we discover that they arise out of a spaciousness within us that is essentially unlimited, pure potential. With practice, we can expand that gap and be this spaciousness as we witness the thoughts coming and going. Here, we’re simply a point of consciousness that’s experiencing its true nature. When we aren’t identified with our experience, knowledge or intellect, we exist as pure awareness…

In Bliss.

Jarl and Steve

No responses yet

Being the Witness

Oct 02 2015

The benefits of being the ‘witness’ can’t really be explained or understood intellectually. That’s because thinking about it just makes it another mental object to identify with or attain. Grappling with it mentally won’t help you have the actual experience, but it will give you an idea about what it means. Witnessing helps you understand how vast you are. When you’re completely present and allowing, you understand that what you actually are is the awareness in which…

Everything happens.

Jarl and Steve

3 responses so far

Peace Requires Nothing

Oct 01 2015

Good looks, financial success and the right relationship might seem like ingredients to a great life. But none of these bring lasting happiness. In fact, each can actually bring more suffering, if we fear losing them. As long as we look outside ourselves for satisfaction, it’ll continue to escape us. Peace begins or ends with a thought. Resisting this moment prevents it. Accepting it just as it shows up

Creates it.

Jarl and Steve

No responses yet

Feel Your Anger

Sep 30 2015

Anger arises when our desires aren’t in harmony with what’s going on. Because it can feel threatening to ourselves and others, we sometimes suppress or internalize it. But we can only heal our feelings by feeling them. While it’s not always appropriate to act on our anger, we must acknowledge and feel it so it doesn’t wreak havoc on our bodies and cause dysfunction in our lives. When we allow ourselves to experience this emotion without suppressing it or adding more story, It’s free to pass right through us and leave us…

In peace.

Jarl and Steve

No responses yet

Judging and Compassion

Sep 29 2015

When we think someone has made a poor choice, we need to remember that it probably seemed like the best option at the time. Whatever they learn from the experience could help them make better choices next time. We judge when we think that we could have done it better. While that may be true, negatively critiquing indicates that we need to look at our own level of compassion for their situation. Wisdom is knowing that we all act according to our level of awareness. This makes being compassionate…


Jarl and Steve.

No responses yet

Awareness, Acceptance and Responsibility

Sep 28 2015

When we’re afraid of feeling blame or shame, it’s difficult to accept responsibility for our actions. A good way to move through life with integrity is to ask ourselves: what within us might have wanted to create this situation? Real growth only happens when we investigate the thoughts, attitudes and behaviors that get us into challenging situations in the first place. What were we wanting to feel? Could we have behaved differently and caused less suffering to ourselves and others? Self-awareness and self-acceptance create responsible people, the kind of people…

You want to be around.

Jarl and Steve

2 responses so far

Tell the Truth

Sep 27 2015

Whatever we can’t tell the truth about doesn’t serve our overall well-being. The fact that we feel the need to lie or mislead means that we’re pretending to be something we’re not in order to manipulate others. But, the short term benefits are rarely worth the deeper price we pay. Deceptive behavior stems from a lack of faith in ourselves and in life. The remedy is to trust, believe and…

Be as real as we possibly can.

Jarl and Steve

3 responses so far

Immobilized by Fear

Sep 26 2015

When we’re afraid of the consequences of taking the wrong action, we freeze. It’s the result of an over-active mind looping on endless what-if-something-goes-wrong scenarios. When we’re present, we have a much greater command of what can be done. If something comes up that requires our attention, we know what to do because we’re in harmony with the moment. To practice being fully present in this moment, try to pay attention to everything that’s happening around you and how you feel about it. Then accept it, and if necessary…

Change it.

Jarl and Steve


No responses yet

Stop Strategizing

Sep 25 2015

Constant strategizing makes for a dull existence. It’s exhausting trying to control every aspect of life. It causes you to miss out on the magic that happens with spontaneity. When you accept what shows up, you invite serendipity into your experience. It’s good to be clear about what you want. Just remember that trying to control and manipulate everything and everyone around you is unpleasant for all involved. Clarifying your preferences and letting go of attachment to the results is the best way to get into the flow of life and make room…

For magic.

Jarl and Steve

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The True You

Sep 24 2015

When we see someone talking out loud to themselves they may seem slightly crazy. But most of us spend a lot of time talking to ourselves. The only difference is that we’re self-conscious enough to do it silently. The question is, who’s talking, who’s listening and which one is the real you? One carries on a running narration judging, critiquing and comparing everything it encounters, as it tries to create and strengthen its identity. The other one is an appreciating witness who allows and accepts all it sees. That’s

The real you.

Jarl and Steve

6 responses so far

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