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Some days things are a little out of kilter. You spill the coffee, there’s serious traffic and you’re late. It seems like the world is against you. Since you really just want to feel good, reevaluate whether it’s worth getting upset over these inconsequential details. Everybody experiences setbacks and inconveniences, but how you hold them is what determines how you feel. When unwanted circumstances appear in your day, don’t carry them on your shoulders like enormous boulders. These details are not you. Let them go by allowing them to fly away…

Like feathers.

Steve and Jarl

What does being perfect even mean? That you always please everyone, including yourself? Does it mean that you never do or say anything wrong? Since opinions vary, it’s unlikely you could ever fulfill either of those criteria. The only thing you can be perfect at is expressing yourself with complete authenticity. When you do that, you breakthrough to a level where perfection is irrelevant. Just you…

Being your glorious self.

Steve and Jarl

Everyone wants to be happy. But the journey through life inevitably includes emotional states ranging from deep dissatisfaction to total fulfillment. And, even though you will experience the normal flux of conditions and circumstances, you can live in a way that minimizes the unhappy times and maximizes the good ones. The sustainable way to do this is to develop your sense of purpose and contentment from within. When you’re balanced and living in alignment with your core values, you travel through rough periods with equilibrium and sail through the good times…

With joy.

Steve and Jarl

When you get to the end of your life, you probably aren’t going to wish you’d worked harder or been more famous. Legacies are for your ego. What will be important to you, is how much you loved and connected with others. Take inventory of how you use your precious time. Your mission isn’t to accomplish things that impress others, it’s to be in alignment with the authentic you. You aren’t here to do, you’re here to…

Be.

Steve and Jarl

As far as the Universe is concerned, nothing is good or bad. It just is. This truth can be a hard pill to swallow when you think that what you deem right and wrong actually matter in the big picture. Criticism and judgment are tactics used by the ego to separate and distinguish itself. Accepting what is and responding with love and compassion are tactics used by your essential self to foster…

Connection and awesomeness.

Steve and Jarl

When you really love something, it’s easy to develop an overwhelming desire to hold on to it. Appreciation is wonderful, but worrying about losing what you have reduces your ability to enjoy it. Since you’re actually already living the loss, your thinking can turn your focus into a self-fulfilling prophecy. The way to cure your fear of an unhappy, hypothetical future is simple: fix your complete attention in this moment and fully enjoy what you have right now. It’s called…

The gratitude switch.

Steve and Jarl

When you’re overly concerned with a particular issue, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture. Stress shrinks your world and reduces your effectiveness. With your attention fixated on a problem, possibilities seem incredibly limited. Next time you find yourself anxious or stressed, think of something (anything) that makes you feel better. It’ll relax your energy and you’ll be more capable of formulating creative and thoughtful solutions. When you uncork the bottle of self-imposed pressure, you access the power of your…

True geni(us).

Steve and Jarl

Do you ever get over-identified with your ego and act immaturely? When you do, it’s not unusual to say something that hurts or offends a loved one. While it’s perfectly human for it to happen, don’t let it go unaddressed. Own your part and apologize as soon as you possibly can. They’ll feel better and so will you. Next time you even think that an apology might help to heal the situation…

Make it.

Steve and Jarl

When someone criticizes, cheats or insults you, don’t hurt yourself by taking it personally. Anyone who behaves this way has problems. The best thing you can do is refrain from engaging your ego and distance yourself if possible. Set appropriate boundaries and let them know that there are consequences for their behavior. When you don’t add your energy to the situation by taking their behavior personally, you neutralize its effect. Don’t be surprised if your mature response inspires them to improve their own behavior, too. And, even if it doesn’t…

You’ll be happy about yours.

Steve and Jarl

When someone criticizes, cheats or insults you, don’t hurt yourself by taking it personally. Anyone who behaves this way has problems. The best thing you can do is refrain from engaging your ego and distance yourself if possible. Set appropriate boundaries and let them know that there are consequences for their behavior. When you don’t add your energy to the situation by taking their behavior personally, you neutralize its effect. Don’t be surprised if your mature response inspires them to improve their own behavior, too. And, even if it doesn’t…

You’ll be happy about yours.

Steve and Jarl

No matter what’s going on, you’re free to rise above the details and choose how you want to feel about it. You do this by identifying that crucial moment when the matter pops into your head and your mind starts wrapping itself around the issue. In that split second when you would normally be categorizing it and developing a story, make a point of saying to yourself, “This is neither good nor bad.” It won’t impair your ability to discern rationally, but it will help you to

Prevent emotional clogs.

Steve and Jarl 

When something isn’t going the way you think it should, do you get uncomfortable and try to realign matters to fit your preferences? Or do you pause for reflection and take look at what you might be able to learn from the situation? The need to control is an exhausting habit for both you and others. Open a little and see what the ‘unwanted’ circumstance has to offer. Try this thought on for size: Everything is going just the way it should, because life…

Really doesn’t get it wrong.

Steve and Jarl

No matter who you’re talking to, the way you talk has the biggest impact on you. Your subconscious mind doesn’t differentiate between you and others, so when you speak disrespectfully, angrily or in a shaming manner, you’re actually doing it to yourself. If your parents tried to motivate you using shame and blame, it probably damaged your self-esteem. To heal it, start listening to the way you express yourself and use your words nicely. It’ll make you feel…

A whole lot better.

Steve and Jarl

It’s the nature of your conditioning to have opinions. Your unique interpretation of each and every past experience causes you to see and respond to life just the way you do. If you had experienced life exactly the way someone else did, you would be just like them. Acknowledging to yourself that you don’t like something is one thing, but spending time criticizing it lowers your precious energy. Your conditioning and your ego are the same thing, and neither are the essential you. The real you is beneath that just loving everything. Replace the urge to criticize with acceptance to experience the real you.

Steve and Jarl

When learning something new, it’s often best to drop your preconceived notions and try to adopt a fresh perspective. It’s difficult to improve when you think you already know everything you need to. Whatever your expertise now, assuming there’s more to learn helps you advance to new heights. It’s not only practice and perseverance that facilitate mastery, but allowing yourself to move willingly into the discomfort of a new stage of not knowing…

Just like a beginner.

Steve and Jarl

When you don’t carry resentment, hold grudges or fuel anger, life is a whole lot lighter. Dragging baggage from the past is fatiguing. It diverts your attention from all the good stuff in your life now. It also pigeon holes others into a box that they may desperately want out of. You don’t need to forget what’s happened, but one of the most effective ways to live peacefully in the present moment is to drop the toxic stories.

Let ‘em go.

Steve and Jarl.

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