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There’s no sane reason to argue with reality. It already is. Resisting it isn’t just pointless, it’s crazy. Any dissatisfaction you feel originates within you. What deeply annoys you might actually appeal to someone else. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t try to change what you don’t like. Just skip the part where you make a case against what already exists. Accept it as the reality of the situation and focus on the change you’d like to see. Instead of ruining the present by crying about the past, accept it and…

Create a joyful future.

Steve and Jarl

It’s a natural survival strategy in childhood to want to please your caretakers, but living your life based on what you think will impress others in adulthood can seriously affect your well-being. While it’s delicious to bask in external approval, you’re the one who has to live with the results of your choices. When you’re out of alignment with your essential self, satisfaction eludes you. Learning to know what you want and live it is the key to well-being. When you’re honest about your feelings and act authentically, the people you attract will appreciate… 

The real you.



Do occasional noises from people or wildlife in your environment disturb your peace of mind? Does every iota of their activity feel like a personal insult to you? Resistance only makes matters worse. Next time you feel disturbed, realize that the actual cause of your irritation is your own thinking. Close your eyes for a moment and allow what is to just be. See it as part of the same fabric of reality, born out of a single matrix, that includes you. Radiate acceptance and love into it. When you stop resisting, what’s left is wonderful…


Steve and Jarl 



While a fully formed identity is a healthy component of early development, maintaining it can be a real struggle. The more identified you are with what you do and have, the more trapped you’ll be. Continuously scrambling to alter your identity in order to project the ‘right’ image to the world takes a lot of work and yields dubious results. The alternative is living in the present moment, going with the flow and feeling grateful for the abundance… 

You already have. 

Steve and Jarl

If you’re like most people, you live in a personal narrative composed of concepts, beliefs and language. You’re probably so mesmerized by your hypnotic programming that you believe it’s actually real. The stories you tell yourself are mostly unchallenged ideas and information you’ve absorbed over the course of your life. Becoming aware of the choice you have to accept or reject any story you tell is the first step in waking up from the dream and entering into the light of…

Free will.

Steve and Jarl

At every moment you are choosing to nurture either a healthy or unhealthy you. If you focus on the amazing beauty in life, your cells soak up nourishing energy. If you look at what’s going wrong and blame, your cells become as unhappy as you. Unhappy cells don’t thrive. They’re drained, stressed and deprived. You may not notice the effects of your thinking as it happens, but eventually you will. Dose yourself with preventative medicine by consciously focusing your attention on all that’s good.

There’s no shortage of it. 

Steve and Jarl 

Every negative thought you entertain leaves a residue that affects you. Each judgment, condemnation and criticism contributes to the fabric of your personal reality. These types of thoughts not only affect you, whether conscious or not, others feel your disapproval, too. If you’d like to feel better about your relationships and life, in general, think and do to others as you would have them do to you.

Golden rule.

Steve and Jarl  

Saying yes when you’re really feeling a big fat NO doesn’t help anyone. Subconsciously, others feel your lack of sincerity and find it difficult to trust you. The resentment you feel from doing something you don’t really want to do causes you to show up with diminished enthusiasm. On the other hand, saying no in a kind way makes others feel like they can trust you. When you feel like saying no and actually say it, you’re saying yes to authenticity and…

YES to yourself.

Steve and Jarl

Admiration usually accompanies achievement. When your abilities and talents help you stand out from the crowd, people perceive you as a model to emulate. They see the attention that comes from success and want the same for themselves. While it feels good to command the respect of others, admiration depends on what you do. Love is based on who you are, independent of comparison. Admiration is conditional…

Love isn’t.

Steve and Jarl

Consider this: Most problems in your relationships result from childhood wounds. Any tangle you’re in is no coincidence. It’s come up for you to heal it. You’re attracted to people whose issues fit together with yours like the pieces of a puzzle. The intensity of the charge you feel when your buttons get pushed doesn’t illustrate how wrong the other person is. It indicates how deeply you’re caught in your own web of projection and resistance. Rather than fighting or trying to control them, turn your attention in the only direction that true healing can occur…


Steve and Jarl

If something in your life feels less-than-satisfactory, try this technique: Appreciate whatever you can in that arena, as it is. If you want a mate, focus on what you love about being single. If your career isn’t rewarding, identify something enjoyable about it – even if you’re unemployed. If you have health problems, think about the ways in which you’re physically well. Everything has both positive and negative elements to it. Whatever you focus on not only determines how you experience life now, it creates what comes next. Experience more joy by…

Loving what is, NOW.

Steve and Jarl

There’s no intelligent reason to allow stress and fear to dominate you. When the future comes, it brings with it what you need. Focusing on what you don’t want, energizes that in your awareness. Since your attention can only be in one place at a time, this habit can cause you to miss the very answers that will help solve your problems. Trusting that difficulties are always accompanied by solutions keeps you from unnecessary anxiety. Even though this universal solution to problems seems simple, it works…


Steve and Jarl

If something seems too good to be true, it may just be that your mind hasn’t yet expanded to allow that kind of abundance in your life. The part that seems too good, is a gift showing you what’s possible, were you to open and let it in. While a particular promise may not seem realistic at the time, use even the most far fetched ideas as opportunities to expand your notion of what can happen. Imagine stepping out of your current (self-imposed) limitations and opening. The first step is always the same…

Believing it’s possible.

Steve and Jarl

There’s a viewpoint about yourself and your life that can bridge the gap between stress and comfort; dissatisfaction and happiness. It involves recognizing that you are a by-product of your conditioning and genetics. You may not even be aware of the cause of much of your feelings and behavior. When you identify elements of your life that you’d like to change, don’t blame yourself for them. Just notice what they are and begin to allow yourself to release them without blame or shame. It’s kind, less stressful and…

Works better.

Steve and Jarl

Being happy requires that you remain mentally flexible, adapt to new circumstances and cut yourself some slack when necessary. Goals formed in the past are, by definition, based on incomplete information. You can’t ever know if some sought after condition will bring you the satisfaction you’re looking for until it actually happens. Don’t beat yourself up when you fall short of your intentions. If your goals are still relevant, correct and continue while remembering that where you are now…

Is the perfect place for you to be.

Steve and Jarl

Society offers many metrics to evaluate your worth. Most of them relate to how well you fit into the social structure and are pretty useless on a fundamental level. Because after you’ve harvested the trinkets, tokens and talismans from your outward achievements, you’re still left alone with your thoughts and experience. The ultimate measure of how well you live is totally subjective and very straightforward. It’s based on this one question: How do you feel? Ask yourself often and sincerely, then act accordingly. When you feel good

You’re off the scale.

Steve and Jarl

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