Listening and Hearing

Hearing and listening aren’t the same thing. Most of us hear others speaking, but we often don’t actually understand what they mean. Really listening requires an open mind, concentration and some degree of self-awareness. What we hear gets interpreted...

Act Like a Martial Artist

When something makes you want to defend yourself or hurt back, take a deep breath and wait before you react. This will give you time to reflect, remember that nothing is personal and realize that they’re probably just feeling bad and (ineffectively) trying to...

Feel the Pain

Each of us has a well of accumulated disappointment and hurt inside of us that is waiting to be healed. When part of it rises to the surface of our awareness, it’s an opportunity to heal it. Because it’s uncomfortable, we often repress it, seek distraction...

Dovetailing Wounds

Recurring issues in our relationships are almost always the result of dovetailing wounds from childhood. We mistakenly think others are the cause of our feelings, when in fact, they’re just activating old pain. For example, as children, Jane felt unheard and...

Frustrating Times

This experience of self-isolation can bring up a plethora of emotions. Our relationships are being tested as as we spend enormous amounts of time together. While some of us are still working and adhering more to regular schedules, others have had their lives turned...

Holding Space

Sometimes people just need to vent and complain. While it’s tempting to dig into our own experience and offer advice or help them come up with a solution, this isn’t usually what is sought after. Most often, they just want to have someone there, while they...