Grow the Good

If there’s an aspect of your life that doesn’t feel good, try making different choices. Often, all you need to do to make an improvement is to tweak the way you think and talk about them. Complaining and recounting stories of misfortune and disappointment...

Listening and Hearing

Hearing and listening aren’t the same thing. Most of us hear others speaking, but we often don’t actually understand what they mean. Really listening requires an open mind, concentration and some degree of self-awareness. What we hear gets interpreted...

Act Like a Martial Artist

When something makes you want to defend yourself or hurt back, take a deep breath and wait before you react. This will give you time to reflect, remember that nothing is personal and realize that they’re probably just feeling bad and (ineffectively) trying to...

Feel the Pain

Each of us has a well of accumulated disappointment and hurt inside of us that is waiting to be healed. When part of it rises to the surface of our awareness, it’s an opportunity to heal it. Because it’s uncomfortable, we often repress it, seek distraction...

Dovetailing Wounds

Recurring issues in our relationships are almost always the result of dovetailing wounds from childhood. We mistakenly think others are the cause of our feelings, when in fact, they’re just activating old pain. For example, as children, Jane felt unheard and...