When something someone says or does causes us pain, it’s normal to want to blame them for how we feel. We may build up such a monumental mental case about it that, we could even hold that resentment for years. When we resist taking personal responsibility for our reactions, it is we who suffer most. The idea that feeling victimized is optional may seem insulting or even hostile, but the truth is this: When we realize we’re responsible for our feelings, it’s within our power to change them…

At will.