Are you the type of person you want to be in relationship? Do you share the qualities you want in your mate?
You must be the type of person you’re wanting to be with. In other words, when you are that person, you will draw that same energy out of your friends and partner. If you’re dependent and negative, it’s not likely that you’ll attract an independent, positive partner. You may find someone who is co-dependent who wants to heal you, but those relationships don’t turn out so well. Wanting someone to complete you will leave you resentful and disappointed in the long run. If your mate needs you to remain dependent in order for them to feel good about themselves (ie., their value depends on you needing them), the relationship won’t support either of your growth.
Take inventory of the types of behaviors you’re engaged in now that are: 1) IN alignment with what you want and; 2) OUT of alignment with what you want. 3) What could you do to bring yourself more into alignment with what you want from your mate?