It’s a common misconception to believe that your “soul mate” is supposed to keep you happy. There’s a lot of romantic imagery in the culture about how, once you’re committed to a serious relationship, you’re supposed to live happily ever after. In other words, your mate is supposed to complement you and satisfy your needs.
One of the most difficult concepts to grasp is the fact that, ultimately, we alone create and are responsible for our experience of life. Your mate could do everything in his/her power to try to make you happy, but it’s your interpretation of their intention and actions that determine how you feel about it.
The real truth is: You make yourself happy or not, through your thinking. You can only be in a healthy and happy relationship when you take care of your own happiness first.
Take a look at the various aspects of your life that you find dissatisfying. Are you expecting someone else to step in and make everything alright? If so, you’re putting too much responsibility on your partner, where it doesn’t belong.
Take a moment to list any demands you might be projecting onto your mate. The list shouldn’t only include things that you are overtly demanding from your partner, but also the things that you are psychically or mentally expecting from them in order for you to be happy.
Now, ask yourself what you can do to satisfy those demands yourself. When you stop seeking from the outside and start taking responsibility yourself, you’ll be amazed at how your mate will want to step up and contribute to your happiness. It’s ironic but true: when you don’t pull from them or demand, they’ll give you what you want. Voluntarily
Write to us to let us know how this worked for:
A. Did you find it difficult to make the mental shift?
B. What do you think would happen if you made this your standard operating procedure?
C. Are you willing to give it a try?