Your primary relationship is the one you have with yourself. All other relationships in your life are simply reflections that mirror the quality of the way you feel about yourself. The way you relate to others usually comes from an automatic reaction. Unless you are 100% conscious of everything you say and do, your responses to what happens in your life come from your conditioning, which is subconscious in nature.
You’re attracted to others on an energetic level. No matter who you’re with and what’s going on between you, you and your partner are aligned energetically. If something in the relationship is pushing your buttons, you have found a gold mine for your own personal self-awareness and growth.
Becoming consciously aware of how your own conditioning is affecting your outer relationships is the most important thing you can do to begin to positively change the quality of your relationships.
Acknowledging your Blueprint.
In order to begin to free yourself from negative patterns, false conditioning, erroneous beliefs or unhealthy thinking that cause you to relate to others in a less-than functional and satisfying way, you need to become conscious of these elements. One of the best ways to do this is to examine the nature of the relationships in your family. They are the tangible evidence of how you were trained from a very young age to relate with your partner and everyone else in your life.
By looking at the relationships that served as models for you, this exercise will help you uncover your ancestral relationship blueprint. Shining the light of your consciousness on the picture you’ve created from your experiences and observations, may reveal new understanding regarding types of behavior that were previously being carried out automatically by your subconscious mind. Whether or not your view is objectively accurate is irrelevant, it’s the way you interpreted what you saw that formed your programming.
Using the list of adjectives below to help jog your memory, describe what you know or have heard about your grandparents relationships (on both sides of your family). Without analyzing too much, just free associate as you write what you know or remember having seen or heard.
Next, describe your parents relationship with one another as it appeared to you. Don’t get hung up trying to write perfect sentences. Just begin to free associate and allow images and information about these relationships to percolate to the top of your mind and out onto the page. Remember, it doesn’t matter if any of it is factually accurate, it’s all about what you believe and what you have internalized.
Use the words below to jog your memory while writing to describe the nature of the relationships between each of your grandparents and your parents. What stands out as having had the biggest influence on your feelings about relationships?*
- Good Listener
- Personal Responsibility
- Able to Let Go
- Closed minded
* If you signed up for Option II or III of this course or if you’re considering a private session, please email the completed exercise to: firstname.lastname@example.org