Projection

When we lie, we naturally think others do, too. When we deceive, we worry that we’ll be deceived. When we constantly find fault, we fear criticism by others. The saying from childhood ‘what you say is what you are,’ is actually based on a deep truth....

Feeling Worthy

Your inherent worthiness is never in question. The fact that one out of a hundred million sperm won the race to create you confirms it. In truth, you’re no less special than anyone else and no more special either. Ironically, the desire to feel superior actually...

Embarrassment

When we don’t ‘show up’ as we’d hoped, it can be embarrassing. It’s natural to want to be considered intelligent, funny, charismatic or athletic, etc… It’s normal to feel embarrassed when (we think) we aren’t perceived that...

Identity Through Comparison

When you base your self-esteem on external conditions, you’re bound to be disappointed. There will always be someone who does it better, faster or smarter than you do. What real difference does it make if you (or they) are better at something? It always feels...

We Aren’t Our Roles

No matter how strongly we identify with our role as parent, child, sibling, professional, intellectual, artist, etc., none of these paints an even remotely complete picture of who we are. Like actors, we play many different roles. Unlike actors, we sometimes get...

Who We Are

Most of us work diligently to create and maintain a particular identity. We use our careers, talents, abilities and intelligence to define ourselves. But, even the sum of all these characteristics doesn’t come close to the truth of who we really are. We’re...