Make Ourselves Happy

Expecting others to make us happy is bound to fail. Others can’t know exactly what we want, even if we tell them. When we look to others to complete us, we eventually end up resenting them because we feel dependent or they don’t do it to our satisfaction....

The Child Lives On

Most children are taught by their (well-meaning) parents to ignore their feelings. Phrases like “you’re okay, don’t cry, there’s nothing to be afraid of and act like a big boy or girl” are designed to help us (and them) avoid discomfort....

Honey Vs. Vinegar

When you experience disharmony with someone else, it always pays to take the high road. Any gruff, rude or adversarial response boomerangs back because that energy makes others want to retaliate in kind. This starts a negative loop that’s difficult to stop....

Focusing Under Stress

Stress causes heightened levels of cortisol in the brain. Since we don’t function optimally when that happens, managing our level of stress is vitally important for staying balanced and focused, even in trying situations. Developing a regular meditation practice and...

Wisdom Trumps Anger

Meeting anger with anger just makes more angry people. Anger can be a motivating force, but it’s not a wise emotion to act from. The way we respond to others often says more about us than it does them. When we spew disgust or disdain at others for bad behavior,...

Of Paramount Importance

When a feud is simmering or about to erupt, it’s useful to ask ourselves what’s really important? Do we want to be right or loving? What’s the cost of standing our ground and the benefit of flexibility? If our feelings are hurt, is it possible to...