Emotional Complexity

Our emotional lives are nuanced, simultaneously spanning many different shades and colors of feeling. We may dislike certain aspects of a particular person, place or thing, while having a deep appreciation for other aspects. We may be upset about something today and...

What We Really Want

When we’re grieving or even just feeling down, we usually aren’t looking for someone to cheer us up, encourage us or give us advice. We really just want our feelings to be acknowledged. We don’t require that others feel bad for us – that would...

Emotional Balance

Having both positive and negative emotional reactions to people and circumstances in our lives is normal and healthy. The habit of turning those feelings into elaborate stories that make others wrong in order to get attention and sympathy isn’t. Arguing a court...

Stay with the Feeling

When we feel hurt by others’ actions, it can easily morph into anger. Because we don’t want to feel the way we do, we go straight to our head and concoct a story about why they are to blame.¬†Ironically, what’s causing our feelings is usually a...

Sadness

Every one of us is occasionally touched by sadness. Whether it’s the result of something directly related to our lives or something we hear about secondarily that triggers it, sadness is a fact of life. Denying we have feelings or distracting ourselves from them...

Premature Transcendence

Sometimes our emotional reactions are so uncomfortable that we repress them, convincing ourselves that we’re ‘beyond’ them. Although we may rationalize and believe it’s true, this coping strategy simply prolongs suffering. No short cut will...