Can’t Change Em

Trying to change others to fit our idea of how they should be is bound to backfire. It’s a vote of ‘no confidence’ because we’re effectively telling them we don’t value who they are right now. If their behavior harms us emotionally or...

Control Yourself

It’s normal to want to control anything and everything that impacts us. A common way to exert our will is to try to change others, resist what is or complain about it. But these techniques rarely have the desired results. The only sure way to control our...

Control

It’s a common belief that it’s okay for us to try to control the lives of our loved ones. We think we know what they should do and get annoyed or angry when they don’t follow our advice! But, it’s actually bizarre to think that we know what...

Opinions and Humility

It’s an oddity of human behavior that we think our own point of view is somehow unbiased and universally valid. We think our lack of prejudice is obvious. Unfortunately, thoughts that are reasonable to us take on different meaning when examined through somebody...

Sensitivity Trumps Control

If you pet your cat unconsciously with too much force, it’ll probably run away. If you try to hold the cat against its will so you can pet to your hearts content, it’ll try even harder to get away. On the other hand, if you increase your sensitivity, pet...

Power Struggles

Despite the fact that power struggles interfere with harmonious relationships, many couples are plagued by them. People who maneuver for power are often trying to correct a sense of powerlessness that developed in childhood, usually the result of growing up with an...