Control

It’s a common belief that it’s okay for us to try to control the lives of our loved ones. We think we know what they should do and get annoyed or angry when they don’t follow our advice! But, it’s actually bizarre to think that we know what...

Opinions and Humility

It’s an oddity of human behavior that we think our own point of view is somehow unbiased and universally valid. We think our lack of prejudice is obvious. Unfortunately, thoughts that are reasonable to us take on different meaning when examined through somebody...

Sensitivity Trumps Control

If you pet your cat unconsciously with too much force, it’ll probably run away. If you try to hold the cat against its will so you can pet to your hearts content, it’ll try even harder to get away. On the other hand, if you increase your sensitivity, pet...

Power Struggles

Despite the fact that power struggles interfere with harmonious relationships, many couples are plagued by them. People who maneuver for power are often trying to correct a sense of powerlessness that developed in childhood, usually the result of growing up with an...

Better Left Unsaid

It’s tempting to volunteer advice when we think others have made an unwise move or acted inappropriately, but there are two problems with giving this kind of counsel. First, we can’t know for sure how their behavior will actually play out in the world or...

Do You Have Control Freakitus?

When something isn’t going the way you think it should, do you get uncomfortable and try to realign matters to fit your preferences? Or do you pause for reflection and take look at what you might be able to learn from the situation? The need to control is an...